I didn't realize it had been a month since I've gotten on here. It's been a month full of challenges. I've kicked negativity out of my life, and I'm trying to focus on the positives from here on out.

I have made some big decisions this month. I got rid of a "friend" that caused heartache and pain in my life. It wasn't an easy decision, and it didn't go down smoothly, but I think that we're *hopefully* on the flip side of the drama. It got so out of hand that it is now at a First Sargeant level, and if she contacts us again we can file harassment charges. It was a big challenge for me because my heart actually aches for the person. She obviously is unstable, and needs people to stand by her as she's got some challenges in the near future (pregnant, husband deploying). Unfortunately her stunts and stories could have had dire consequences on my husband's career, and after a talk with his supervisors he layed it down that I couldn't have any contact with her. He wasn't being a punk about it, he was being realistic, and while I agreed that cutting contact was the best choice my heart was heavy. I didn't want to hurt her. Why, I'm not sure. What I should have done, in hindsight, is to just be the bitch I didn't want to be. If I'd been frank and too the point, called her out and ripped her a good one, perhaps it would have gone down smoother. Instead, my being nice only proved to give her opportunities to make it all about her, and to rope more people into the drama. Sigh. Lessons learned I guess.

I actually learned quite a few lessons from this situation. I learned to trust my first instinct when it comes to friendships. If I don't have a good feeling about someone in the future, I'll back away quickly. I've given a lot of thought to what I want from friendships, and what path I want to take in the future. I have started going back to church. I've been inactive for about 2 years now, but he decided that looking back, the drama and heartache I've experienced the past 2 years has been from friends who didn't share my morals. You don't have to go to church to be a good person, but the two people who have hurt me deeply and made me question myself have been anti-religion people. It certainly gives me a moment's pause, to really contemplate the type of people I allow in my life in the future.

The weather is shifting here and winter is in the air. Most of the leaves are off the trees and we've had a hard frost the past week or so. Of course I'm giggling that NY has tons of snow, yet we haven't had any here in Alaska. We got our studded tires put on our car this morning, so it can snow any day now and I'll be okay with it. LOL. I am going to enjoy our (hopefully) last winter here in Alaska, then go relish in the heat of TX in the spring/summer.

James is looking at a deployment this spring, and I think we're going to put our stuff in storage and go stay with my parents when he leaves. I am ready to go home, and I think it'll be better for the boys and I than staying here by myself while he's gone. It means we'll be apart for about a year, but I think long term benefits will outweigh the separation. Josh will also be able to go to Kindergarten in one school for a semester instead of starting and moving a month or two into the school year.

It looks like it's going to be an adventurous year, and I'm looking forward to the changes.